I want to dive a little deeper on what has led me to this point and time in my life. I also want to just note that I am in no way a writer so, if my posts seem a little bit all over the place or my grammar is off please be gentle with me as I'm sure I'll improve as time goes on.
Here's a little backstory for you.
I met my now Husband almost 13 years ago. At the time I was working full time as a chef and living in a flatting situation. We fell in love hard and fast. After our first date we have been inseparable and he pretty much never went back home after that.
After a few months we decided to move cities. We were both working full time in the beginning however, we both decided to go back to school to gain some further qualifications. My Husband has always loved all things computer so he signed up for a course in computing and at the time I thought, 'that's something I think I would like to do'. Looking back on it now I should never have signed up. I didn't end up finishing the course and ended up with a bigger student loan.
Husband ended up finding a job in IT and at the time I was working in a supermarket. Not long after we got pregnant with our first baby girl. I took maternity leave and went back to work just before her first birthday. I hated it. I hated that it kept me from her and I felt guilty that I was sending her to Daycare everyday so I could go to work at a place I didn't even enjoy. A few years passed and we ended up pregnant again with our second baby girl.
I continued working full time at the supermarket for as long as I could but eventually I got to a point where I just couldn't keep going anymore as it was taking a toll on me both mentally and physically. Fortunately, we were in a position where I was able to give up work and become a full time stay at home Mum.
I'd decided that I would go back to work once our second baby was 5 and starting school but, life had other plans. Shortly after she turned 4, I gave birth to our son. He was definitely a bit of a surprise.
So here I am, 3 kids, 2 in school, a Husband who has been super successful in his own career and I'm left wondering what the heck am I doing with my life.
I LOVE being a Mum. I feel like that's my true purpose in life. But, I think I've lost a bit of who I am outside of being a Mum. I never do anything for myself, I struggle to spend money on things like new clothes or haircuts for myself. Everything I do is for my Husband and kids and I don't resent that at all but it's time I start looking after myself. To be a better Mum and Wife. But, here lies the problem. I don't know that the heck that looks like.
People are always asking me, "What are going to do for work once all the kids are in school?" and "Do you have any hobbies?".
I want a career. I want to have the kind of success my Husband has had. I want to be able to contribute financially and take some of the stress off Husband. I could just go back to working in a supermarket but I know I would hate every second of it. I'm not against it nor think poorly of the profession, it's just not for me.
All of this has led to this Blog. A place for me to work stuff out. I've always had the thought of starting a blog in the back of mind but for what ever reason have been to scared to just pull the trigger and do it. I didn't want to be vulnerable or share with others what a mess I am. But it's time for a change. Whether people end up reading this or not, it's therapy for me and I'm going to give it all I've got and see where I end up.
Thank you for taking the time to read this little back story and I look forward to sharing many more blog posts with you.